In a perfect world, human beings would be flawless: completely honest, do things from the heart. Just simply learn to be and be a good person
Now, let’s come back to reality. Remember the time when you were in elementary school and you found out that your friend, who pinky sore that they would never even tell your most sacred secret, went ahead and spread it all over school? Do you remember feeling sick and hurt? Oh, yes. After that, you told yourself that you wouldn’t trust nobody ever gain, until you found this cool person in high school/college/work worth hanging out again. Maybe it also happened with a significant other, that person that you never thought that would betray you nor hurt you, but went ahead and cheated and/or disrespected you.
The truth is, my dear friends, that people are flawed and we all make mistakes.
In my previous post, I wrote shortly about getting to know your godfather/godmother before you even thought of initiating. I have seen a lot of people being deceitful about ceremonies and initiations.
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I had a friend that fell in love with this religion and wanted to be a santera with all her heart. She asked around and found a Babalawo that would initiate her. The sad part was that after she paid the money, she received her “initiation” in the mail, just like a package. After some years, she met her current husband who was also a santero, and told her the truth. She was so hurt and disappointed to the point that she was about to leave the religion and her Orishas. After some meditation, she went ahead and paid for a new initiation.
If you ask me, I have seen some fakeness going around: from Orisha “mountings” (it was more like people asking for things rather than having the true Orisha in front of you) all the way to fake spiritual sessions (They will try to guess your grandma’s name and stuff). Unfortunately, you pay very close attention to the readings and rituals. You must study and read a lot about this religion. While it is true that most ceremonies are secrets that cannot be revealed, you can always ask certain questions. Also, take a look around the type of people that frequent that ile. Are these folks trustworthy? How does the godfather/godmother approach them? What is the general vibe at this particular ile? If you see conflict, he/she said or any type of disputes, run!
Personally, I met my godparents through a referral. I have so much respect and love for these people. You need to remember that they are like your parents. They will guide you and you must be able to trust them. They have to know your issues because they will help you how to solve them, if they have the best intentions for you. And remember, your godmother/godfather will be so for life. Even if they do you wrong, or argue, the bond is unbreakable, so choose wisely!
May your Egguns and your Orisha guide you towards the correct people.
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